Do you set personal goals for yourself?
We can plan, but does life go exactly the way we want it?
My experience is that I can plan until I get green in my face, but it does not always go the way I imagine. Every time life reminds me of this, it comes with a huge amount of teachings that demand my flexibility.
And you may ask, what do I mean by that? Let me tell you.
The job I wished for
This summer, I got a job I wished for. Outdoors, hands in the soil, touching the earth, working in a cemetery.
I had done this two years ago, before I travelled for a year, and I loved that work. It was the most peaceful job I’ve ever had, and it allowed me to do my own stuff next to it. So I wanted it back. I had carried that picture with me. I knew how it would be. A perfect job that would give me some steady income while I am bringing my dream and vision out to the world.
Or so I thought.
When my body started living its own life
But this time, I ended up in a different cemetery than two years ago. Different people. A different way of organising the days. Soon I discovered I had to work on my flexibility muscle on so many levels.
At the same time, the work was more monotone. Two years ago, we could do different tasks around the cemetery. Here, it was the same work day after day.
And that work did its voodoo on my body. It started living its own life.
The pain in different places of my body showed me that the work was too repetitive to be healthy for me.
I walked between 8 and 12 kilometres every day. And yes, I do love walking. For those who know me a bit by now and have been following me for a while, I’ve been called Miss Walker because of all my walks around the world. The sacred mountains and the caminos. So I saw those daily walks at the cemetery as a continuation of that.
For two months, I stayed organised. I came home. Then came my own stuff. I did my sadhana (my daily practices) and worked on the business I’m building and my creative projects. The things that give me pleasure and energy.
But it got harder and harder. My energy changed. My balance changed every day. Even the way I looked at everything around me changed.
It wasn’t giving up. It was simply no energy left to do anything more that day.
And at the end of July, it was checkmate. I had to give in and listen to my body.
Same feet, a different why
And that made me wonder. Walking is what I love most. So why did it empty me this time?
On my own walks, every day was a goal too. But it was my own walk. I could stop. I could withdraw.
At the cemetery, the walking belonged to the job.
Same feet. Same kilometres. A different why.
So, do I set personal goals?
Yes. But not the way I used to imagine.
Yes, I have a bigger vision, but if I hold on too tightly to it, I leave the present moment. I get lost in my expectations. This summer showed me that one more time. So my goals are small. Daily intentions. One step at a time.
The more I live in the moment, the more layers show up. And the more I know what I need, and what I don’t need to carry on my journey. So I can take the steps towards my vision with more awareness.
My summer showed me very clearly: sometimes we wish for something and we get it, but it is not exactly how we saw it in our inner eyes. This is not failure. It’s just the walk of life. Experiences that enrich us and teach us how to meet life with more flexibility, and to see what works and what does not.
And I guess reaching our dreams and goals doesn’t follow a straight line either, the way our mind wants it to.
Thank you for visiting my site. Some patterns can’t be thought through. Only walked through. Curious what I mean? It is in my book The Silver Route — now on Amazon.
I am Parisa Radpey, the writer of these pages and founder of Dhyana Donya Movement & Health. You can read more about me here my background.
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You can also find me across social platforms, or let my Spotify playlist move what words can’t. And if you want more, I also write for Wise and Shine Zine, and my latest blog post is called Listening to the Heart: The Story Behind Lau Suna.