In Norwegian, a saying goes like this: ‘You know what you have but do not know what you will get’.
This saying provides a good grounding into my blog post today as it shows that in order to pursue and even obtain one’s dreams, we often need to let go of the known.
To dream and have longings is human. Yet, few of us dare to pursue our dreams. Why? you might ask. From my perspective as a coach and social worker, I’ve seen that it is much easier for people to stay in safety than move towards something unknown because the unknown holds risk (I don’t mean to sound judgemental; this is simply my perspective based on my own experience and observations).
I also believe that each one of us is on our unique and personal journey. At the same time, we are on the same human path of life, with all its different waves of wanted and unwanted emotions and experiences. And that makes life impersonal. So this makes for a paradox that life is both personal and impersonal. It is full of dualities, and we humans are often torn between them.
Our issue is how we deal with life; nobody knows what is best for us except ourselves. Yes, we can listen to people and get inspired, but no one can tell us what to do or not do. I believe each of us is equipped with an inner knowing. And no, it is not always easy to hear that inner knowing because we often get pulled between different forces in life: our wishes and desires and the external demands and responsibilities of life.
During the last couple of years, it has become clear to me that important for me to have both a balanced life and to follow my heart’s desires. But nothing comes served on a silver plate, as another saying goes, and we must choose between these opposing forces with every choice we make. Plus, everything takes time in this mundane dimension. At least, that has been my experience.
Establishing my own business has been more demanding than I thought (what I think is another question because I have learned by experience that life usually does not go as I think it should). I have learned that I can have wishes, desires, hopes, and dreams, but I also have a certain amount of energy available in one day, so I cannot do more than I do, and the rest is not up to me. It is sort of out of my control, and that is why I like this prayer (if you do not believe in God, you can also regard prayers as a kind of affirmation or self-talk).
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
During this process, I have been forced to see layers within me that I might not want to face if it was not for my choices. I have faced fear and uncertainty. And the fear has been connected to the economy and my basic needs. I guess that is what is called the survival instinct, no? And when I feel out of control, then fear hits in.
Looking back, reviewing the last three years, I now see that even though I have lived in a field of uncertainty, I have managed to do what I have gone in for. So, if I could have been more at ease with the flow of uncertainty, I might have skipped all the unwanted waves of tension, worrying, and anxiety. But I promise; it is easier said than done.
Anyhow, back to my point: “That’s life.” It’s a phrase I’ve heard countless times over the years, in relationships and my various roles working with people. But since I arrived in Peru at the beginning of July, I have experienced the opposite.
I have met several people who have felt the frustration, had been down, and gone through a financial crisis, but they have chosen to take a step out and create a change. And, of course, they all use different words and expressions to describe what they had been through and why they wanted/had to create a change. While some say they chose to create the change, others say that life forced them to make a change. What they all have in common is their NEED for a change. Being where there was no option, they just had to take a chance and see how it would go. They have walked into the unknown.
And as we all know, there is no guarantee in life, right? And this again leads me to another Norwegian saying:
Du kan aldri krysse havet før du har motet til å miste synet av kysten – You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
Stephanie Hole is educated as a social worker, with many years of experience in various roles in the field. She is the first one in my series of interviews with four people who have taken a leap and gone for their visions and dreams.
“I never felt at home in Australia. After graduating, I worked for 12 years as a social worker and travelled a lot. Among other things, I lived in Mongolia for a year and volunteered. When I returned to Australia, I tried my hand at adulthood. I rented an apartment, bought a car, and did everything the adults do to establish myself there, but it was not me. ” She says. Then came the Pandemic.
“ During the pandemic while I was living with my parents, all I could do was dreaming,” she says, but halfway through the Pandemic, she managed to get out of Australia and return to Peru. She now lives in Cusco and runs the small cozy tea shop Imagina_Te.
“The teas in the shop are sourced from a local indigenous herbal collective, and this connection is central to the purpose of the tea shop,” she tells me.
The people I have interviewed for sure have inspired me, and maybe they encourage you if you feel the call to change or take a risk. And if you do not, that is also fine. Remember, only you know what is best for you. It is your journey.
PS! Sometimes, change can be learning a new skill that opens new doors and fields to explore.
By the way, I have now updated my vibration of the week. I hope you enjoy it. You can also visit my website and book an online coaching, sound, or body movement therapy session with me. If you have any questions about my services, please do not hesitate to email me. And I promise you; that I will not spam your inbox with endless emails.